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Do you write?
Yes, love to! 56%  56%  [ 49 ]
Yes, but only occasionally. 32%  32%  [ 28 ]
Only if nessecary, for school or work. 9%  9%  [ 8 ]
No, and have never wanted to. 2%  2%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 87
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Shakespeare's Worst Nightmare
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Joined: 01 Jul 2008, 05:54
Posts: 442
Location: Manjidani, Medieval Japan
I know there is a thread for posting poetry, but i don't think that there is a thread for posting one's creative writing ability.

I have been writing for a few years, and I really like it. I find it a great hobby to just escape from the world around you. I would like to know if anyone else loves this as well, and if you have made a few stories. Please share them, if you are willing. I would love to hear everyone else's ideas for stories, or simply see what they have written.

And also, if you want advice, we are all here to give it to you :wink:

_________________
Even the worst winters reach always their end.

I have been waiting this change of season for a long time.


Last edited by AmoSLEEP on 05 Sep 2008, 05:41, edited 1 time in total.

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Rhymer of the Evervigil
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Yup i've written for a long time.. actually i made a thread like this a while back.. but it died.. so Lets keep this one alive!

Also i cant wait to read what you guys have written :P

I've gotten better since this story but its the best i have typed up so:

Black Roses

He stared blankly down the sight of his rifle at a deer grazing not ten feet ahead he was suddenly reminded of his wife. Not that she had ever been unknowingly targeted (at least not to his knowledge) and definitely not that he wanted to shoot her (at least not all the time). No, it was
the deer itself that held her image, its dark and knowing eyes, it graceful shape and even her likelihood to eat from the ground.

At first he savored this vision of her while holding his rifle to his shoulder, awaiting the perfect moment to shoot. But when that moment came he knew that with such a vivid image in his mind he couldn't handle pulling the trigger.

As the rifle fell to his side it brushed slightly against the branch of a pine tree. The startled animal, know noticing the hunter's presence bolted into the towering forest. Leaving nothing but a single memory of its presence behind.

The hunter whispered a curse into the bitter cold of the winter as a slight mist floated from the crack of his mouth. He thought of sticking around for a while, thought of catching something smaller so that his venture wouldn't seem wasted but he knew he couldn't. With such a vibrant image in his mind how could he consciously shoot anything? He laughed aloud at how strange his thoughts had become and turned toward home.

His boots crunched heavily in the tightly packed snow sending a slight echo into the sky above. Soon the meandering hunter found his way to a path which, after many twists, turns and forks, lead him to his ramshackle truck parked snugly within the pathway, shielding it from the snow that had been falling earlier in the evening.

He climbed clumsily into the rusted door of his one navy blue ford, now a mess of rusted metal and scratched paint, barely recognizable to even the most sharp of eyes. Soon would be the time to remove the rusted pile from the face of the earth. But knowing that this had been his first vehicle he had stubbornly held onto it for five years too many.

As the truck strained to start many loud curses flew from the mouth of the stubborn hunter. once the broken heap began to roll from the snowy pathway a victorious smile tore across the hunters lips. The bumbling rust bucket tottered along the bumpy dirt road creaking loudly as it went. The road of dirt connected to the highway which after an hour (usually two but traffic was extra thin) he took an exit toward home.

But as he traveled across the paved (but much too thin) road toward home the car ahead of him screeched suddenly to a halt and as he slammed on the brakes a terrible scream of pain and extreme age roared from the brakes of his truck. Many loud and ferocious curses fell into the air at that moment, from both the hunter and the driver ahead of him. Soon a deer trotted calmly away from the front of the the line of cars. The hunter stared thoughtfully at the deer, so very much alike the one he had targeted earlier he wondered whether it truly was the same animal.

He drove on for barely three minutes where he found the driveway leading to the home he shared with his beautiful wife. As he parked the truck carefully behind the house (hiding it from the neighbors as was his wife's command) he wondered what his wife would think about him returning home early with an empty truck. He then reminded himself of the countless other occasions when the same thing had happened and forgot all about his worries. The thought of his wife being angry for such a petty reason floated from his mind like a feather in the wind.

As the door of his home Slammed behind him the smell of cooking spaghetti sauce rose into his nostrils and he fell into a trance of hunger. He had forgotten to eat the lunch he had packed for hunting because of the appearance of the deer and now that decision was coming back to haunt him.

"A little early, aren't you?" His wife called from the kitchen, seemingly confused. How could she be blamed her husband had told her he'd be home three hours later.

"Nothin' around. No point in staying," he lied, knowing how easily his story of seeing her resemblance in a deer could be taken in the wrong way.

"Makin' food, " she called, waving a wooden spoon in the air showcasing what he already knew. Then she ordered, "Come in and help."

The hunter strode obediently to the kitchen, sure to drop his winter coat and boots at the door.
His rifle still lay in the passenger seat of his trusty, rusty ford.

After a short while of adding and sampling the sauce was finished and the couple stood victorious. They then began working on a chocolate desert so decadent I dare not mention it for fear of invoking your hunger.

"Try some," the Hunter's wife told him while raising the wooden spoon which now held a sample of the finished spaghetti sauce. Her husband nodded his head and waited greedily for the sauce to find its way to his stomach. The spicy mixture floated within the clumsy fingers of the wife, slowly toward the mouth of her husband. On its way droplets of various sizes fell to the ground, including a piece of mincemeat and a small mushroom. The taste of the sauce was highly exaggerated by pleased mumbling sounds rolling from the throat of the hunter.

The wife then threw the spoon into the pot and dropped to her knees so that she could recover
as much sauce as she could. She then ate greedily the sauce that she had collected. "Might as well be soup," she commented, creating an excuse for her clumsiness.

Despite the joking and giggling and incredible meal to be found at the table that night, despite their undying love for one another, despite their carefree and optimistic lifestyle. This would be Timothy and Anna Blake's last supper, last night together.

The morning that preceded will remain the most terrible day in Timothy Blake's lifetime (and most probably Anna's). He rolled over to Anna's side of the bed in the depths of his sleep, this is what woke him. It wasn't simply was it the fact that Anna usually slept in late and it was only seven, no, there were stronger forces at work than the unusual urge to wake early. A sharp pain prickled at his back like a bee sting only in several different spaces of his back, but not even this was all. Along with the pain, a warm liquid soaked into the back of his t-shirt and boxers.

His first (and incredibly obvious) reaction was to quickly remove himself from the bed. As he stood facing the wall he wondered grimly what was laying in Anna's space of the bed. Blood dripped from his clothing and as he turned with, what Tim believed to be, 'vain fear' he saw what had caused his back to prickle in pain. Upon the bed lay a large splotch of blood and a wilted red rose whether it was actually red or simply colored that way from the blood Tim didn't wish to know despite many gruesome thoughts of the situation. Blood was not only upon the bed but smeared across the ground as if somebody had tried (with much futility) to clean up the mess. There was no doubt in his mind (or, as I'm guessing yours) that this was the scene of a murder, you didn't need to have watched CSI to have figured out such a simple fact. Tears fell from Tim's eyes as he sobbed continuously for his wife. Tim scanned all that he knew about his wife quickly but nothing he could find would lead to her murder. His wife had been slain, the woman he had wished to grow old with was dead only five years into their marriage.

The next few hours were painstakingly filled with police business that has little to nothing to do with the rest of the story so I'll save you the time.

After his questioning had been finished Timothy climbed into his trusty rust bucket with little else but his coat, boots and the clothes underneath. He knew there was only one place for him to go, his Mom's house the place he'd lived for the many years before he'd married Anna. Well.... she was not his real mom, he was orphaned as a child and she'd adopted him. He'd never had a dad, not even a father figure. His mom had raised him alone, she hadn't bothered with love, only her adopted son, Timothy.
Tim drove with both anger and sadness pulsating painfully in his mind. Still he cried but much more solemnly (less sobbing), calmly remembering Anna's long brown hair hanging beautifully on her shoulders and her dark brown, almost black, eyes shining like diamonds in the sunlight. She had wasted nothing in her lifetime, not food, not time and especially not the chance to make fun of his truck.

"Barely worth the space in the driveway. Can we please get rid of that pile of rust," Anna pleaded staring upon the old ford laying lifelessly in the driveway.

"Ah, but the memories it holds, it's the only vehicle I've ever owned," Tim replied, resisting her sugary tone and waited for her pathetic attempt to change his mind by (with immense futility) trying to hurt his feelings.

"Stupid pack-rat. Every piece of your past will eventually go away and if I have anything to do with it you'll start with this pile of scrap metal," fury boiled within her words but they were wasted on the calm demeanor of her husband.

"You say pack-rat I say nostalgic. You say scrap-metal I say truck. You say the past will go away I say its here to stay," he replied childishly. But as he had hoped with his childish answer to a childish insult the conflict was to be resumed another day.

Now he drove for his old home. He believed his nostalgic attitude had dissipated into the cool night air, he thought all he wanted and needed to know lay in the future. Anna was gone but poor old Tim couldn't grasp the idea and, contrary to his own belief, he was more nostalgic than ever. His memory constantly jolted from memory to reality until neither could be deciphered from the other. This strange cycle went on until his rusty old ford sat comfortably in the driveway of his mother's house.

He slowly hauled himself from the truck, almost disappointed to see his mom's car was home. Tim couldn't help but be hesitant to relive his horrific experience even once more. Soon he was knocking his knuckles against the smooth surface of the wooden door that lead to his mother's living room. A short woman with black, graying hair answered the door, it was his mother staring back at him.

After she had lead him to the living room and they both sat comfortably facing each other his mom began speaking. "So you want some tea or cookies?" She asked kindly, staring through large and almost insanely thick spectacles.

"No thanks," he replied blandly, holding back either anger or sadness he didn't have a clue to which it was in such a state of pained confusion.

"Not even home-made chocolate chip?" She asked in blind confusion. As if it simply took her breath away that anyone could refuse her cookies.

"No," he replied simply, still holding back the conflicting emotions within him.

In fact his mother's astonishment about his refusal of cookies (especially of chocolate descent) was well placed. Of all foods he loved chocolate the most and the best place Timothy had ever found chocolate was within his mom's home-made chocolate chip cookies.

"What's the problem?" She asked worriedly suddenly realizing the terror of the situation by the simple refusal of baked goods. She then braced herself for the worst which as she had rightly guessed was all there was to find in Timothy's story.

After he had finished his mother stared blankly toward him, unconsciously teetering between shock and disbelief, although she knew that her son would never, in his right mind, lie so severely to her (at least so she hoped) and of course she was correct.

Chit-chat ensued, flipped out and completely laughable conspiracy theories arose from their words. They also verbally investigated anything or anyone new in both Anna and Tim's life that could possibly lead to murder. But, as they had both already known, no probable theories arose from their conversation. But to his mother's joy Timothy's spirits were lifted by this simple exercise.

So Timothy stayed with his mom and, after several days, his composure had begun to return. Meanwhile Anna's murder had spread to the news, her name had been withheld, but all of the gruesome details, including theft of the body, had been given. Most interesting of all was the mention of a serial killer who had killed the husband and toddler of Katrina Thomas. It was once believed to be an act of vengeance on Katrina or her family but thanks to the new death that held no connections to Katrina it was believed that the killer had something else in mind.

Three days after the most devastating event of Timothy's life he sat in his mother's kitchen eating a breakfast of bacon and eggs. His mom had left to get groceries to accommodate her much welcomed guest. Once he had finished eating Tim dropped himself in a heap on his mother's couch surfing through the channels, finding little satisfaction in anything that found its way to the screen.

As he sat like a slug a several loud knocks rapped against the smooth wooden surface of the front door. Tim was hesitant to answer, he didn't want to speak with sympathetic aunts he hasn't seen in years or uncles who want to speed up the funeral to silence their hysterical wife (despite the fact that there was nothing to put in the casket). But despite his unwilling attitude he knew that if he didn't answer they'd just return later.

As he turned the doorknob and the door swung open he saw nobody that fit the description of an aunt or uncle. The woman that stood before him was a little younger than him, he had never seen her before, she held determination instead of sympathy in the shadowy depths of her cold blue-gray eyes, and her hair was long and messy, holding a black veil over many of her facial features.

"Hello there, and who might you be?" Tim asked trying his best to be friendly to the stranger standing before him who held a dark gaze upon him, unwavering despite his futile attempts to hide from it.

"I'm sorry to bother you brother but I heard about your wife and had to express my deepest... sympathy," her voice was clearly forced to display an obviously fake happiness.

"I'm sorry but I never had a sister. The orphanage would have contacted my mom about it years ago," he was suddenly afraid. Even (at that point) going as far as to believing that there was a good chance that she could have been Anna's killer.

A smile cracked across her lips but the determined flare in her eyes hadn't (yet) burned out. "Oh, how cute. Don't worry Timmy I am your sister, the biggest difference between you and I though is that our parents decided to keep me. I'm Katrina Thomas, by the way, my husband and daughter were killed by the same woman that killed your wife. Oh, and just so you know the police were undoubtfully wrong about one thing at the least."

Suddenly realizing the possibility of truth in her words Tim decided to all that she had to say, but he still wouldn't be dumb enough to allow her to enter his mom's home. "And what exactly would it be that the police are wrong about?"

"Just that the murders are connected and they are undoubtfully an act of vengeance. Not on me, or even you but our father," she seemed almost happy to share her beliefs about the murders with anybody but herself. Tim never wanted to know about his real family and now that he knew that they were the source of his greatest misery he liked the idea of knowing them a whole lot less.

"Elaborate," Tim commanded, he knew that he had to know everything to understand.

"Our dad was engaged before our mom. When Sally, that was her name, got pregnant he realized how much he didn't like her and he left. She stalked him for years, she watched as he met mom, got engaged then married, she watched as you were orphaned and I was kept. When I was a kid she sent letters and notes in our house begging for dad to take her back, he ignored them. Then Sally began threatening mom, and us if he didn't return to her. Dad had enough and...," her voice trailed off, she paused, wondering whether she would regret the words she had guarded within for so long. "He killed her, in front of the child, his child. The kid was orphaned and although mom suggested adoption dad wouldn't have anything to do with Sally's kid. Sandra, the kid, saw it all happen, she knew of the letters and of her father. She began enacting the threats her mother had promised to fulfill with my baby's second birthday, almost a year ago," Katrina began to cry, Tim didn't know what to do, he wanted to comfort her but suppressed the urge. He didn't want to make the problem any more awkward than it already was. So instead of helping her he became a spectator in a theater of sorrow.

Soon the tears stopped falling and Katrina spoke once more. "Sandra lives on Thompson Avenue, number seven. She gardens roses of every color you could name, no other flowers though. If you want to do something about your wife that's the place," She then turned and left, climbing into a sleek black car which Timothy couldn't recognize (he didn't know much about cars). Then she was gone and Timothy knew he would never see his puppeteer again. He knew she was using him to do something she was much too afraid to do herself but what did that matter to him? He believed her completely, it could have been the promise of vengeance or the incredibly accurate story that she had told of which not even Timothy himself knew, only one thing was certain, he was paying a person in Thompson Avenue a visit.

His memory of Katrina was faint, he hadn't a clear vision of her in his mind, only a faint sketch, a rendition of the truth. Only a single thing remained of her that he'd never forget, the cold and sarcastic tone of her voice remained uttering the words "Thompson Avenue, number seven". This remained etched on his mind an eternal grip of vengeance that would never begin to leave his memory.

He hauled on his boots and winter jacket. His eyes held a fury that would only be lost in the pain of another and he embraced it. It was time that he avenged not only his wife but his niece and brother-in-law. He then hauled himself into his truck, snow fell lightly against the windows melting as it touched. The keys turned in the ignition but the sputtering that followed held much doubt for the stubborn hunter seated comfortably behind the wheel. once, twice, three times more the key turned and the engine sputtered before dying curses rained down a blizzard within the rickety old truck. It just had to break down at the very worst time possible.

Then he remembered, Thompson Avenue wasn't even a block away, he could simply walk there. It was in the direction of hunting grounds so if he carried a rifle who would make anything of it? He grabbed the rifle that lay solemnly across the passenger seat of his truck and began walking. His boots crunched heavily in the tightly packed snow beneath him, he was heading for the vengeance that patiently awaited him on Thompson Avenue and little or nothing could stand in his way. Cars whizzed beside him as the drivers stared quizzically at the hunter striding with incredible determination for what both the drivers and Timothy alike considered to be a hunting ground.

In less than half an hour Timothy stood at the entrance to Thompson avenue. But the first thing that stared him in the eye was not a house, or a sidewalk, or even the sign proclaiming the name of the street. No, instead a deer standing carelessly in the road held a crude gaze upon the hunter but felt no fear in his presence. Tim shed a single tear as the animal once again stole the image of Anna before a car crashed into the careless beast, the driver and passenger remained unharmed, only their car and the deer suffered damage, but the stubborn deer continued along darting into the wood leaving a trail of blood as it went.

After Tim's bearings had returned her continued on toward house number seven. When it came into view he saw it was a sickly bright green color with a large metal seven bolted onto the door. A victorious smile tore across the hunter's lips, the end was in view.

Tim tapped the tip of his rifle against the door and waited impatiently for Sandra to answer. Footsteps rang out from inside loudly she was home and she was headed for the door. When she answered the door her face became a twisted mask of fear and shock melded together in a tormented frown.

"Why are you here?" She asked, despite being quite sure of the answer.

"The same reason you bothered to kill my wife. Petty vengeance my dear," Tim whispered grimly a demented smile rising across his face as he raised his gun to her stomach and lead her inside. Wilted red roses were strewn everywhere. A child of three lay in a wooden crib shaking its rattle viciously. Tim knew it was Katrina's daughter, for no particular reason at all, it was a simple intuition. "It's Katrina's child isn't it," Tim asked calmly, she didn't reply. "Isn't it!"

"Yes," Sandra sobbed her short blond hair held back in a tight bun.

"What's her name?" Tim yelled, knowing that intimidation was the only way to get Sandra to speak to him.

"Catherine, I couldn't kill her. I didn't have the guts. I had to take care of her, 'cause if I brought her back, I didn't know what Katrina would do," he voice wavered under the pressure of sadness, it was obvious she wasn't as dangerous as Tim had expected.

"Where's Anna? Where's her body?" Tim screamed shaking the barrel of the rifle against her stomach and forcing her to listen to him load up a bullet.

"I buried her, my backyard," She screamed. Timothy didn't realize this but he was becoming as much of a killer as she already was.

"Don't cry, don't cry shhhh," he whispered as silent venom pulsed in his words. "You wont die here, Catherine can't watch that. I'll take you far away and don't worry I'll make it as quick and painless as I possibly can," he laughed bitterly his voice cutting through the silence like a knife.

She was silent, knowing that she probably deserved death for what she'd done to him, but she'd never admit such a demeaning fact to anybody. After several simple orders that I needn't mention for they'd be too minuscule and pointless to offer, they both sat in Sandra's car. Sandra was bound in the passenger's seat and Timothy sat joyfully behind the wheel, knowing that soon he'd be able to go home and the world would be good again (or so he hoped). As they drove down a snowy dirt road that branched from the highway a question popped into Tim's mind that he had to ask before he sent Sandra to death.

"Why a red rose? I mean why mark your kills with such a puny trademark?" Tim asked oblivious to how connected that Sandra was to the rose.

"They symbolize lust, and I've lusted to make your family pay ever since your idiot of a father killed my mother. Your foster mother was next you know, then Katrina, then you, then your real mother and then, finally your father. But now its all over, I've been planning since I got out of that orphanage," Tim had enough of her he wanted to kill her right there, he wanted to end it all so much sooner but he knew there was only one place for her to die and it wasn't inside her car.

When the dirt road ended they both climbed out of the car and Tim lead Sandra down the path that twisted and turned until it forked off into the clearing where he had first seen the deer. He stood Sandra up in the middle of the clearing a loosed a single bullet between her eyes before burying her beneath the snow and soil, so that she'd never be seen again.

As Tim began walking back up the path he heard sounds all around him, a branch cracking, an owl hooting, wings flapping, and his own boots crunching heavily in the tightly packed snow, as he neared Sandra's car the deer that he saw had been earlier been hit trotted drowsily toward him until it collapsed in the snow at his feat, dead. He simply stepped over the deer and drove back home.

The next day the police phoned Tim's mother and told her that his blood was found at the scene of the murder at the tip of a thorn on the rose. It was the only evidence found but it was just enough to send Timothy Blake to death row, although he hadn't killed his wife I must admit that he severely deserved the sentence he received.

Nobody stood up for poor Timmy.Katrina didn't want to get sentenced for helping her brother kill Sandra, plus she had gotten exactly what she wanted and more. Her vengeance was complete and she had little Catherine back, what did her brother matter to her? Not even Tim's mom stood up for him, she backed up the evidence as a witness stating that Tim hadn't been acting like himself lately and that she wouldn't put murder past him.

But why did you need to know this you may ask, if you've decided not to have given every inch of your attention here is the answer. Love is a rose emitting a crimson glow of beauty, a remembrance of what you've always wanted and the blind belief that you've found it. But even the most radiant rose holds thorns, as does love. For when love is given but is not received or is taken away a deep wound is severed within your soul. Remember the rose before you love, not the thorns that may become your end. All withers, all fades away but when something dear is stolen you may never again be the same.

_________________
this is because i can spell Konfusion with a 'K'
and i can like it
its to dying in anothers arms
and why i had to try it
its to jimmy eat world
and those nights in my car
when the first star you see
may not be a star
im not your star


Last edited by The Raven on 05 Sep 2008, 03:23, edited 1 time in total.

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Shakespeare's Worst Nightmare
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Location: Atownnoonesheardof, United States
Ah, I think you've got a point...I've never seen a thread for stories, anyway.

I write on and off; I used to write more when I was younger, really. I think I'm a much better musician and artist nowadays than a writer, but it's still fun for me. =)

Maybe I'll post something here later on, but since most of my 'short stories' are really excerpts out of what would be chapter-long books if I wasn't lazy and actually wrote them ( :D ) they'd probably not make too much sense...>__>

Kudos for making this thread, though. I look forward to seeing what you and others have written. :)

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L'amour regarde pas avec les yeux, mais avec l'esprit.

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Shakespeare's Worst Nightmare
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Raven, that was great. I really loved it :D that would make a great novel, with it being longer and creating suspense and mystery. It was really well written. I loved the whole symbolism of the deer. It was truly well done. Last paragraph summed it up really well, feel sorry for Tim though :(

Thanks Kishamaru. i have been wanting to do it for a long time, and finally got the time.

Here is a little something from one of the stories i am working on now. It is Sci/Fi, and it is currently 213 pages. I won't even think about posting the whole thing, as i am sure that no one wants to read 213 pages at once :D
(Summary of the excerpt. It is the prologue, and it takes place in the 31st century. The confusing parts in the prologue are explained in the rest of the book, which takes places even further ahead in time. The planet is earth.)

Alban yawned as he lumbered into his office. Putting his briefcase on the desk, he slowly walked forward and looked at the teeming city below. Solar panels glistened on the tops of buildings. People rode trains on cable wire from one place to another. Everything seemed a blur as he swallowed against his parched throat. Nobody had consumed water for days. The lack a substance so necessary for life was deadly. The Earth that surrounded the city was as parched as his throat. Even this once lush and beautiful land was transformed into a desert barren of life.
Gunshots below caught his attention. Two women and a man were fighting over a gallon full of a clear beautiful substance, water. Taking a bottle out of his pocket he tipped it and caught two pills in his palm. He put them in his mouth and swallowed with some difficulty. These were the only things keeping everyone alive.
He collapsed into his chair with a sigh. Another gunshot and the screams of a dieing woman reached his ears like haunting bells. This was it. He knew that the war for water had begun. Many people of power, including him, provoked the inevitable war. No doubt it would be the third, and last for the precious substance.
“Mr. Alban, Sir.” He turned to see his assistant, Juliana Thorson, come in through the door. She looked just as haggard as he felt.
“Yes Juliana?”
“This came today sir, from Jackson.”
“Oh, not again!” he looked at the chip in her hand with disgust. These energy industries should have been burning in the deserts they created. “What does Jackson want now?” She shrugged and handed the chip to him. Alban inserted it in the slot nearest him and a screen appeared in front of him, the face of Jackson timidly smiling out of the monitor. Jackson had been the CEO of an energy industry for quite some time, and to Alban’s surprise, he was still managing to get enough money to live.
Before Jackson could speak out of the monitor, it disappeared. The power going to the apparition computer was gone. The building turned quite as the air shut off. His desk started shaking and soon, the whole building was vibrating. Alban looked into Juliana’s eyes and saw confusion as she looked at the shaking walls around her. A loud noise directed his attention to the window. To his horror and prediction, Alban saw the golden shield, that covered the city like a dome, disappear. The shield gave them air to breath and was the city’s only protection from the sand storms. At the loss of the ancient barrier, sand whipped in. It hit the buildings hard, ripping off solar panels and destroying the trains. It pummeled over people with great force, filling the streets with golden sand. Soon the wall of sand hit their building causing it to teeter backwards as if it weighed nothing. They stared out in amazement and horror, grabbing onto the nearest thing to balance against the shaking. A solar panel hit the window, breaking their safe hold. Sand rushed in at blinding speeds. Ducking, they hide their faces from the vicious grains that cut into their skin.
Just as quick as it had started, it stopped. Alban lowered his arms from his face and looked at the sand filled room. There was no window left, nothing but a gaping hole that opened to the destroyed city below. With actions numbed by shock, weariness, and age, he walked to the edge of the room. The once crawling walkways below were stilled with golden sand and ruble. The silence was eerie. Not a breath of wind or life anywhere to herald the existence of movement. He squinted as in the distance a wall of rock, dirt, sand, and lave came rushing forth. It filled the whole horizon and towered to the sky. The unbearable heat could be felt from even this great distance. He stood in shock at the edge of his room, unable to move. It erupted from the Earth’s surface as it barreled forth. Before he knew it, it reached the city’s edge and disintigrated everything it touched. Alban closed his eyes, titled his face upwards, and felt the Earth tremble as the great wall moved towards him. The trembling grew, the heat became deadly, and the wall hit him. Death came faster than light. Alban’s body, a mere pile of ashes, floated down to land amidst the ruins of a once prosperous planet.

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Even the worst winters reach always their end.

I have been waiting this change of season for a long time.


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Count one more writer dwelling in the forum. It's been... two and a half years since I first started and ever since I've been using writing as a way to express my views of the world around me, my dreams, my feelings, everything.
I get inspiration mostly from songs and sometimes use a big part of the lyrics of the song.
I have never tried writing something big like a book or something, but I have this one idea in my head that might actually turn into something big... we'll see. :P

Anyone who's interested in my writing, visit my humble Diary of Dreams.

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adiantunne ni exverti ni nappisetu


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That Poll is clearly missing an option: "I'd be writing all the time if I could get off my lazy bum." :lol:

Anyways, yes, there has been a thread like this. If I remember correctly, it was created on August 19, 2007 by Raven and vanished somewhen before Apr 2, 2008 , though I'm not completely sure of that second date. Don't think this will happen to this thread, though... the poll will make sure of that.

Speaking of which: I could re-post a story I posted in the old thread here, if you want... and I could also post a new one. But they're also on my deviantArt account and the link to that is in my signature. :)

Now for criticizing :twisted:
Raven: That was one fine story. If I couldn't say that there's a few grammatical errors in it, I'd be all discouraged from posting my own stories here :lol:
Amo: Well, after reading that piece, I have to say that I might read 213 pages at once... just not in this thread. I'd prefer a word document or a physical book *hint hint* :lol:

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I'm too lazy to read atm, just coming in to say I like the idea of this thread.
I write about one story every five years or so. :D So if you wait long enough I might post here eventually...

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Marvin wrote:
That Poll is clearly missing an option: "I'd be writing all the time if I could get off my lazy bum." :lol:

Speaking of which: I could re-post a story I posted in the old thread here, if you want... and I could also post a new one. But they're also on my deviantArt account and the link to that is in my signature. :)

Amo: Well, after reading that piece, I have to say that I might read 213 pages at once... just not in this thread. I'd prefer a word document or a physical book *hint hint* :lol:


Haha, I never thought of that option, shame i didn't think of it before :lol:

And yes, re-post those stories. I would like to see them, and i am sure everyone else would too.

As for the criticizing :) ......thank you a lot. I really appreciate that. It is the first time i have shown anyone that so i was a little nervous. But if anyone has any constructive criticism, i would be really happy to hear it and improve. And my future goal is to make it into a full fledged book, though i still have a little ways to go :D

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Last edited by AmoSLEEP on 06 Sep 2008, 01:39, edited 1 time in total.

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LastDropFalls, i read the first two stories, The Wanderer and Carnival of Rust. I thought that they were fantastic. My favorite was The Wanderer. It was so cool, but i also really like the Carnival of Rust because of all the references you made to the other songs and of course, the story. Very well done both of them :D Can't wait to read more when i have time.

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Only if nessecary, for school or work.

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AmoSLEEP wrote:
LastDropFalls, i read the first two stories, The Wanderer and Carnival of Rust. I thought that they were fantastic. My favorite was The Wanderer. It was so cool, but i also really like the Carnival of Rust because of all the references you made to the other songs and of course, the story. Very well done both of them :D Can't wait to read more when i have time.


:oops: Thanks.

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Amo that excerpt was AMAZING. Wonderful writing. A few grammatical and spelling mistakes but otherwise VERY good.

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Alright, here you get the first one then, the one I had posted in the old thread. The inspiration for this one was a car ride when I was looking for an old building in the area. I had wanted to take a pic of that building at sunset, as a reference for a drawing inspired by the song Dawn. However, the building had been torn down just a few weeks before that day and on my way back home this story popped into my head. Within two hours of getting home, I wrote it down and when I logged onto the forum after that, there was a thread for short stories...
BTW: The drawing was never created :P
So, without further ado, I present you...


Dawn

Driving around in this area, you will come across the ruins of a village. Only one building of this village is still standing: The church which was built on a hill to the east. It looks a bit shabby on the outside, but when looking at it, you can almost feel the centuries it has seen and will see. And if you are there in the evening or at night at the right day, you might see a small fire in the ruins.

I know this because I also saw it.

It was a warm summer’s evening and I had been driving around this area in the evenings for some weeks. I was going back home and passed the village on my way. That was when I saw the fire. I decided to have a look into it, took the old road towards the village, parked my car close to the first ruins and walked to the fire. Upon coming closer, I saw that it was a campfire and there was only one person sitting close to it. It was an old man who looked up at me when I stepped into the light. I had the feeling that he was even older than he looked and I wondered what he might be doing here, all alone, in the middle of nowhere.

I greeted him and asked if he would mind me joining him sitting there. He answered “Good evening, son. Feel free to sit down. There is enough space, light and warmth for everyone.” I asked him if he was not afraid of evil people or wild animals and he just laughed silently and said that he might not look like it but he was able to defend himself. We sat there in silence for some minutes and suddenly he started talking. He said “You will wonder what I’m doing here, an old man, all alone at night. Well, I’m coming here every year around this time to spend a night here, to see the sun set in the evening and to see the dawn. I used to stay up all night first, but now I’m old and I can’t help dozing off sometimes. Why I do this? I do it in remembrance of the night this village was destroyed. And if you don’t mind, I would like to tell you a story. The story these ruins would tell if they had voices. Tonight, I will be their voice.” I agreed and he started telling this story.


When I was a young man, about your age, I was living in this village. Of course, it was still standing back then. This was no special village. It was neither exceptionally big nor small and the people who lived here were no different from other people. They were nnt better than other people, but they were not worse either. They were doing their work everyday, most of them going to church on Sundays and they also liked to go to the pub in the evenings, after work.

Then the war came.

Technically, the war was almost over already before we realized that there was a war. It was like they had forgotten about us, here in the middle of nowhere. But one warm summer’s night, around sunset, we heard planes come in. Now planes were nothing new for us. Every now and then, some planes had flown above our village, but this time it sounded like all the planes we had heard and seen before, were coming in at once.

We looked for the planes and when we spotted them, we saw that it was two squadrons of bombers. One of the squadrons seemed damaged, some of the planes leaving long black trails in the sky behind them.

By now, I know that they had been in an aerial battle and won it, thanks to their support. By the time they reached our village, their support was gone and the bombers had split into two groups: the undamaged ones and the damaged ones. The first group stayed on course to their target, but the second one only stayed with them until they found a secondary target.

In case they would choose to attack our village, we sent everyone who would be no help in damage control to the church first, hoping that they would be safe there and telling them to pray for the bombers sparing our village. The rest of us prepared for a possible bombing.

We had been right to do so. The planes from damaged squadron chose our village to be the secondary target, opened their bomb bays and turned back home when they had dropped their deadly load. Compared to other air raids, there were not many planes involved, but for our village, it was too much. The bombing itself was over very fast, but the whole village was burning afterwards. Trying to save at least some of the houses, we fought the fires the whole night. Ten people died in that night, among them some good friends of mine. But we did not manage to save a single house. The morning dawned over the smoking remnants of what had been our homes… but when we looked east, towards the sun, we saw it appearing behind our church, which looked like it was gleaming, undamaged. The last bombs had hit the ground fifty meters away from it.


Something in the voice of the old man almost made me see and feel what he saw and felt back then. I had not cared for the time, so I did not realize it was morning before he came to the end of his story. I looked east, just as he did and saw the sun rising just the way he told me about it. When I finally managed to take my eyes off the view, the old man was gone without a trace. While I was still looking around for him, the church bells rang. I went up to the church to find out who was ringing them. In the church, I met a young priest, who strangely reminded me of the old man. He seemed surprised that someone actually showed up out here. I asked him if he did not know about the old man who came here every year and he said he just rings the bells at this day every year as a remembrance for the day this village was destroyed in World War One. And then he added “My great-great-grandfather used to come here every year when he was still alive, because this was where he grew up. He used to spend a whole night here every year, telling the story of this village to anyone who would listen and in 1993, he passed away out here. They found him next to a burnt-down fire, eyes closed, with a smile on his face. Since then, I have been the only person coming here regularly, to ring the church bells for this village, making sure it is not completely forgotten.”
When he finished speaking, I realized what it was about the young man that reminded me of the old man: Both of them had the same look in their eyes and the same tone in their voice. Actually, both also had the same eyes. Maybe it really was the young man’s great-great-grandfather who I met the night before?

Now I am living further away, but whenever I am in this area at this time of year, I also spend the night in this village. But I have never seen the campfire again.

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My turn to criticize :twisted: :wink:

I loved the ending. The twist was REALLY good. I like the whole spiritual element to it as well. I did not see what was coming, i was completely shocked. Well done :D

@Raven: thanks for pointing that out. I wrote that about a year ago, so i have improved greatly, but i will try and fix those errors.

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i Remember that one Marv :P Still loves it :)

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here we're getting loads of threads about art, creating: it's good to see so many of you are skilled and interested in writing and art in general: this forum feels like a creative community.

I used to write... sometimes I've even been trying to write novels, but mostly I used to write songs. Then I started University and.. many things changed :( I guess it's not just a matter of lack of time: it's more like a lack of right state of mind... sometimes I think that I've suffocated what was in me :(
wth, this is not the "sad Thread", so I stop it :)

Back to topic:
Marvin, I just read your story and I loved it.

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Lisa, you can express things like that here. If it deals with writing you can talk about anything :P
That sucks that that talent was taken from you :( Maybe once you have more time to get into the state of mind, it might work.

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... Like Lisa wrote it... creative community...

I write in Bulgarian and in English... But I write only poems in English... :) I have 20 pages of my novel called Pitfall. I hope that... I will write it and translate it in English... But for the translation I will use help... So, maybe after year or two... I will show you my novel...

Ryan, you know I'm your eternal fan... :D :lol:

LastDropFalls... WOW! I adore your stories! My favorite one is Night of the Wolf... It's just GREAT!!!!

Marvin, AmoSLEEP... Lovely pieces :)

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[POTF] AlexUnder [POTF] wrote:
LastDropFalls... WOW! I adore your stories! My favorite one is Night of the Wolf... It's just GREAT!!!!


Thanks. There is a link to my blog in Bulgarian, just in case you haven't noticed. :P

@Marv: I want the new Icarus and I want it now! :P

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Hey everyone, I am pleasured to say that my debut book called Sand Clock is finally released. Image
Here it is:
http://www.ozon.ru/context/detail/id/4051516/
It is the official part of S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series.
I hope next step will be its publishing in Germany which also has "stalker" books.
Image

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So now I've read the stories/excerpts posted here.

Raven, yours is well written and the story as such is interesting. I really liked how you used the deer and I liked the characterization of the hunter.
However, the parts where you change perspective and talk direcltly to the reader, telling them what you left out, don't work for me. It broke the flow of the story for me. I'm not saying it is a bad story though, quite the contrary. :)

Amo, I don't read much Sci-Fi, but the Prologue has left me curious of what might happen next. I like your description of the world and your character introduction. :)

Marvin, I guessed how yours would end before I got there, but I like it :)

Now if I weren't so lazy I'd post one of mine...

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Russell wrote:
Hey everyone, I am pleasured to say that my debut book called Sand Clock is finally released. Image
Here it is:
http://www.ozon.ru/context/detail/id/4051516/
It is the official part of S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series.
I hope next step will be its publishing in Germany which also has "stalker" books.
Image


That's cool...

LastDropFalls, now I saw it... :):):) You are great writer.

I'm glad I know so many good writers... :)

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redbossfan wrote:
Marvin, I guessed how yours would end before I got there, but I like it :)

:D Finally someone not saying that it was unexpected. I thought it was so obvious... but maybe that's because I already knew the story when I wrote it ;)

LastDropFalls wrote:
@Marv: I want the new Icarus and I want it now! :P

When you're reading this, it will be up on the day after tomorrow. :P

And I might write another short story or two soonish ;)

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Writing is my blood, my everything; unfortunately writing so much keeps me much preoccupied from reading other's stuff. :D

I remember that we had a thread like this before though. Some of your stories I recognize 8) and still enjoy :oops:

LastDrop, loved your stories... <3

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I'm afraid 'tis as imperfect as I am, but this is as far as I can take it now. Maybe I'll someday be able to present it in a better form.

In truth the first part of a three part story, but the other two aren't good enough to be written down so this is all I have.


The Dragon's Keep

Once upon a time in a far away land, hidden deep within a snowy forest, sat an old castle, dark and grey. As long as anyone could remember it had been at peace, standing in it's cold solitude without visitors. The stories told about sky-high walls surrounding a treacherous labyrinth where vicious beasts and traps guarded the central tower. A few stories claimed that there was a magnificent treasure on the top of the tower, but the howl of the mysterious beasts kept all visitors away, and the stories were never proven right or wrong.

Till one day came a knight, riding his white steed to a small and quiet village, asking about the castle. The villagers told him what they knew, but had agreed to do this only after the knight had revealed the source of his curiosity. He told them that the castle was in fact a dragon's keep, filled with riches the kind no one had ever seen -and a fair maiden, trapped by the dragon long ago, forced to stay all eternity in her cage. This was his quest, to free the maiden and all the land from the cold grip of the dragon.

The villagers took the news quite calmly, but refused to offer any help. This suited the knight fine, for a knight on a quest can only ask for a place to stay for the night, all other help is prohibited. So the next morning he rode off towards the forest, with only his sword and shield to accompany him.

An eerie silence hung over the snow-glad forest. No living creature could be seen, nothing broke the frozen stillness except the small clouds of powder snow the horse lifted up as it walked deeper into the white wilderness. But despite the tranquility of his surroundings the knight could not help the feeling of being watched, as if an ominous power unknown to man was lurking right beyond the edges of observation. This obscure atmosphere made him feel a bit uneasy, but as his thoughts wandered to his noble quest once again he gained new strength, and as the sun rose behind him he could see the castle walls looming in the distance. His armour shining with the warmth of the midday sun, his determination shining with the purity of his heart, the knight fearlessly rode closer. All world was quiet as he dismounted the steed and searched the massive wall for a crack, a door, a way in -but his search was in vain, for not even the smallest creature could get through the black stone. His only option was to climb. The wall was so high that it's top could not be seen from the ground, it merely vanished within the fog that was lingering around the castle. But he had no choice, he was on a quest to save this land from the ever possible threat of an evil and vicious dragon, and his need to do good would not let him turn back. He left his heavy armour behind and only took a light chest plate and his trusted sword and shield with him, chose what looked to be the easiest way up the wall, and slowly started to climb.

Battling against strong, ice cold winds the knight climbed up painfully slow, his fingers numbed by the frozen stone and cut by the sharp edges, his muscles aching from the cold. He lost his sense of time, did not know if it was day or night, or how long he had been climbing. All he knew was that he needed to get to the top and over to the other side, to fulfill his quest, and save the fair maiden. And somehow, after the climb that felt like it had lasted a day too long, the knight made it all the way up to the top of the great wall.

From the top he could see the castle grounds spreading in front of him, the deadly maze a dozen feet from the wall waiting to be entered, and the tower in the middle stretching towards the sky, lit by the afternoon sun. It seemed that the castle was built on a small hill, because the wall was far lower on the inside, low enough for a safe jump down. The knight then focused his attention to the maze, following the path from the entrance to the tower in the middle, trying to capture what he saw as images in his mind. He could not see anything moving within the maze, but he could hear the roars of the beasts as they lurked in the shadows, waiting for their next victim. But he knew turning back was not an option, the shame of failure would not be accepted. The knight sat on the wall for a moment longer, gathering his strength, watching the peaceful world on the other side of the wall to awaken his determination, and then jumped down.

The ground was frozen solid, but no snow was inside the castle walls. As he walked towards the entrance of the labyrinth the knight noticed that the air was colder here, and that somehow light wasn't able to illuminate as much as it had outside the walls. He felt as if a freezing hand was inside his chest, starting to hold his heart tighter and tighter with every step he took. By the time he got to the entrance the pain had grown so strong that his legs refused to take him any further. The thought hit him hard: he would not be able to make it. He would have to return as a failure, and spend the rest of his life mocked by everyone. He would not be worthy of the sword. But then a vision of the fair maiden filled his doubting mind, the helpless princess locked away in the tower, surrounded by riches like never seen, but never being able to enjoy them. And with that thought he knew he could not turn back now, he had to put an end to the reign of the horrid beast. It was his destiny to become a servant of the sword. And thus the knight buried his growing fear, and stepped into the dark maze.

He had expected the labyrinth to be a demanding trial, one that would require all his cunning and strength. He had asked the scholars about the common designs of mazes, brought with him some chalk and a torch, and spent hours training in the dark, preparing his mind should he be trapped without light. And from the top of the wall he had memorised a simple map that would most likely lead him through the maze. He had prepared for the worst -or so he thought. But after just a few moments spent within the dark and twisted corridors of the labyrinth he was proven wrong. There was no pattern he could follow, the route through that he had seen from the wall was nowhere to be found. The traps and the hordes of monsters forced him to retrace his steps more than once, and most of the time he felt he was going further away from the tower. His only hope was to believe that the ever more ancient design of the traps, and the increasing number of monsters he encountered meant that he was getting closer to his destination.

Then, just as he was losing his hope, it was over. There were no more monsters, no traps, no dead ends. Just a straight corridor and behind it a clearing. The knight found himself standing at the base of the mighty tower, the only part of the age old castle that was still standing, and a few feet from him waited a wooden door. His eyes travelled up and saw a light shining from the top window, clearly visible against the now storm-grey sky. It had to be where the maiden was imprisoned, surrounded by heaps of treasure -the setting of his final trial, after which he would have earned the glory and admiration. The knight tried the door, and found it to be unlocked. As he stepped into the dimly lit space he saw old, worn-out stairs leading to the top. The surrounding walls were covered with dried blood and what looked like ancient writing, impossible to understand. Nothing could be heard, somehow the noises from the outside world didn't get pass the thin door, and the tower itself was silent as the grave. The knight stood there for a moment, preparing himself once again, taking deep breaths till his heart started to quiet down and his mind was at ease, and then began the climb up to meet his destiny.

He was once again trapped with no knowledge of time, there were no windows through which the knight could have observed his apparent rise. No natural light came in, and in the gloom world lit by torches day and night were one and the same. At first he had been moving up swiftly, his sword ready and his spirits soaring high through victory in his mind, but as he kept climbing and the stairs kept on going exhaustion started to catch up with him. Soon he was too tired to hold his sword up, and the only reason why he was still walking was that his legs couldn't stop anymore. The air was getting hotter and the writing on the walls had turned into pictures that were just as incomprehensible for the knight. Every now and then he stumbled upon an empty helmet or a broken sword, all of unfamiliar design, the likes of which he had never seen, not even in the old books of the scholars. His body and soul were demanding rest now, but he was too afraid to stop and thus kept going, having only enough energy to keep his legs moving.

What seemed like a lifetime later the knight reached the top of the tower at last. His legs gave in and he collapsed on the floor, too exhausted to care should he his presence be revealed to the dragon. He tried to take off his chest plate for he had trouble breathing the hot air of the tower, but he was too tired to move. So the knight just lay there on the floor, powerless, hoping that the dragon was not home at the moment.

He woke up with a startle as his mind remembered where he was. The knight quickly got up to his feet, drawing his sword, but there was no danger to be seen. He looked around the room, surprised how vast it was, and saw that it was empty, no piles of treasure anywhere to be seen. Only an empty iron cage, hanging from the ceiling. Deep disappointment filled his mind and the knight was no longer able to hold back his bitter tears. But then suddenly he heard a noise, coming from within the cage. He lifted his eyes, and could now see a figure -the back of a woman in a golden dress. It looked like the maiden was crying, and had not noticed him yet. Since the dragon was nowhere to be seen, the knight sheathed his sword and slowly moved closer. He could now see that the cage was actually hanging over a very thin sheet of ice instead of a stone floor. The knight stopped to examine this wonder, for it should have been too warm for any ice to survive in the tower, not to mention ice so thin he could see the long drop down to the bottom of the tower through it.

It took a moment for him to notice that the tower was silent again. As the knight looked up he saw the maiden looking back at him -and then took a step back in shock. For what he had taken as a fair haired maiden in a golden dress was in fact a maiden made of pure gold. The dim light of the torches made her skin and hair shine like the sun itself, and a few silver tears were still on her cheeks, underneath her diamond eyes. Deep scars, almost as if she had been welded together, ran here and there on her body. Her eyes were shining with gratitude and her smile filled with relief as she looked through the bars. The knight was starting to recover from the shock, now understanding that his quest had been a success greater than he had ever imagined, his feat outshining even the deeds of the heroes of old. He would become a legend, a living legend. As he smiled back at her the knight extend his arm, trying to reach the maiden through the bars. But just as their fingers were about to touch, a deafening roar filled the room and shook the very foundations of the tower. The dragon had arrived, it's black body blocking all light so that only it's eyes, made of pure fire and filled with ancient wrath, could be seen. The knight jumped away from the cage, drawing out his sword once again, but he didn't even have time to lift up his shield before the boiling flames surrounded him and turned him into a pile of dust.

The rattle that the knight's blackened shield made as it fell to the floor was the only sound that could be heard after the dragon was done. It stood frozen for a moment, as if savouring the feeling of victory over yet another petty mortal trying to challenge it, or perhaps waiting to see if there was anyone else hiding in the dark. Then it disappeared just as silently as it had arrived, leaving the maiden yet again alone, accompanied only by her tears.

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Joined: 25 Jan 2008, 00:37
Posts: 753
Location: Heart of Darkness
Quite a bit shorter, quite a bit older, and quite a bit better.

...And a hell of a lot harder to find :D


The Dragon of Saint George

My youth, that is what they want. Offering bribes, poisoned lamb and unwanted brides. Minor sacrifices for the secret of age, to see the future with devices of rage. The smell of burning flesh as their sweet perfume, and the world waking up to it's doom. No, I will refuse, no matter how they taunt.

But what is this, something has changed, it seems this one stays out of range. And now comes sir knight with his blade, to bring the endless night where I could fade. So be it Sir George, let us see who strikes a deeper gorge.

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Shakespeare's Worst Nightmare
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Joined: 01 Jul 2008, 05:54
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Location: Manjidani, Medieval Japan
when i first read yours, i thought that it was going to end like every one of those fairytales, with the knight rescuing the maiden, the dragon being slain, and them living happily ever after. but i have to say, i am ashamed to admit i thought that about your story. :oops: it was very good, and they ending was well put with the golden maiden being accompanied only be her tears. it was really well done, and you definetly created a good atmosphere for the castle.
i liked the second one even better. it could almost be a poem :D
there were only a few grammatical errors: such as run on sentences and such, but i am not one to talk :P

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Joined: 25 Jan 2008, 00:37
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Location: Heart of Darkness
Well the 2nd one was given as a challenge, to write a story with a 100 word. Didn't make it so I decided it had to have something extra :P And talking with rhymes sounds a bit oldish, fits the dragon.

The first one is only the 2nd draft, I'm not fully happy with it yet, need to go through it again sometime. Some things need more explaining, the knight is not quite where I'd want him to be, and the end needs....something. More life maybe. But it's better than the first draft, you wouldn't recognise that they're the same thing :D

Thanks for you comments :)

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The Historian's Apprentice No More
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Joined: 09 Mar 2008, 23:04
Posts: 5111
Location: Germany
Here's a short piece I wrote back in 1995 and just tranlated from German (feedback is always welcome):


Train station – the second hand of the clock is moving much too slowly.
Feeling chilly.
„Please board the train on platform 11. Doors will close automatically. Please stand back while the train is leaving!“
Hoping and waiting – anytime soon now – yesterday, today, tomorrow...
Jealousy „Where have you been?“
Fear.
Voices - babbling teenagers looking for adventures.
Another look at the clock – not even a minute has passed.
Haunting thoughts, memories: Fighting, banging doors, „please stay“ – only a whisper, then silence.
A nagging pain, the empty apartment feels narrow and nightmarish,
the vastness outside is too much to take.
Boredom.
Wandering about restlessly.
Non-stop movie theater.
Porn.
Clutching the arm rests with sweaty hands.
Lit cigarettes glowing in the dark.
Relief an illusion.
No satisfaction.
„You can have them all!“
Sensory overload.
Escape.
Returning to the train station, it has gotten even colder.
Music - sad sounding saxophone, soon fading away.
The last train arrives, but nobody gets out.
„I love you...love you...you...I“ – echoes of long lost words.
It has gotten late.
He turns up his collar and leaves.

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"A night has many shades, it can last for many days and hurt in many ways ... "(Árstíðir)


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Shakespeare's Worst Nightmare
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Joined: 01 Jul 2008, 05:54
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Location: Manjidani, Medieval Japan
interesting story layout. Never read anything thing wrote out like that.

so, i am a little brain dead right now, so don't blame me for my stupidity, but was it about a guy who got into a fight with his lover and then was going back to apologize, but at the last minute, he decides not to get on the train???????? this is probably way off track, so do forgive me :oops:

i liked the layout alot, but if only my stupid head could wrap itself around the story :x

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