Hi, I'm just a 14 year old guy who seems to like writing a bit of poetry, i even have my own book! but of course i have many other peoms on my computer, you can check them out on my friends' website, on http://www.inverted.tk

But he said this poem is the best one in his opinion, i was wondering what you people thought of it. and here it is!

The Private Detective

Wake up early in the morning
Still kinda yawning,
Like the dagger in my heart
I sit on my bed,
Clenching my chest for a prayer
To send my soul into the air.

A drink I yearn for I thirst,
To burn my mouth
With the poison dagger
In which you call whiskey,
To calm me down
I sit with my broken glass.

Life is shit in the eyes of me,
I get nothing but the thrill
Which is lost like the
Cigarette in my mouth,
Too fast it goes away,
Then I put it out.

A call at work from the phone,
Ring ring, ring ring,
Like the clock in my mind
Passing away the time,
All in the day of a man,
The Private Detective.

Time to pick up my life,
The woman screaming at me
Like my bitch of a wife
I hear the another story
Still with no senses,
I carry on this fucked up life.
But I wouldn’t settle for anything else.

By Joshua Sung

BTW my name is Joshua Sung

Plz feel free to say what ever you want! thanks

Nice poem

This could be a fun place to express ourselfs.

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http://www.freewebs.com/sbeband

Whats THAT supposed to mean
~Q-tip

Im not sure

is ur book actually published?

A poetry tip.Never swear.

Nice poem kid

Beautiful! You are definitely an artist!

Hey, why don't we all put our talents to the test? I may not have a book of my own, but here goes:

FEAST

I hang over a pit.
The darkness holds lions that prowl
Angry that they haven't fed.

What does it feel like to be food?
I'm sure they can smell my stench
Like aromatic spices.

May you claws cut cleanly,
And lick your lips with fervor
For I am the end of your
Ravenous appetite.

Have your fill,
Then polish my bones
Until they glisten.
Rebuild me anew. Whole.
Stronger for the wear, and no longer
Just rotting flesh.

Feast on my diseased self,
O Aslans of my Imagination.

Alright, its a done deal, except this is a song i wrote. Tell me what you think, i wrote it late at night...thats when i get all depressed cause i have time to think:


I’ll be right here,
I’ll be waiting…
All day long…
I will stay where you tell me…
Cry where you held me close…

But it wont..be..enough..
To bring you back…
And It..won’t…be enough
I see the burnout tire tracks
It can’t be enough
If you keep staying away..
It just isn’t enough..
To say what I want to say…

Don’t let…me down.
Save me if I drown
Open your arms to me
Please again?
Please..again…

But these words won’t be enough
And this song can’t be enough
To make you hear me again…
Send it all away…
Away across the ocean
Because its just not enough…




Thats my most recent one that I wrote, i have others, its not my favorite though. most my songs are really solemn...Tell me what you think. Oh by the way this songs name is "Burnout".

~Q-tip

That's cool, Q-Tip. I can sing, and write poetry, but I can't seem to put the two together. So it's a real gift when you can.

Thanks. Yea, I'm lead vocalist and rythym guitar for our band, its fun. But playing and singing is so difficult, so for recordings i do them both seperatly and we splice them, but for live performances we bring in another guitarists. I wish i could sing and play at the same time... meh, im happy where i am.
~Q-tip

Oh, can i read one of your poems dudette aka Artist chick?

Read? It's right here online, dude. Do you mean a reading? If so, that's fine, but give credit where credit is due. It's only fair. My name is Jackie H. I'd give you my full name but I'm not without a healthy dose of paranoia when it comes to the Net. Sorry.

Nah, its all good, i understand. oh whoops...haha, so it is here... ha..ha...
~Q-tip

*L* Okay, never mind...I'll just go watch some more Olympics.

Here's something I wrote a few months ago...I don't care much for it...maybe someone here will.



Behind The Glass


Never gave a second thought to the misery
Thoughts of life and everything that should be
Broke the bread and now I'm biding my time
Locked in a prison, the walls are my mind

Out the window I watch and wait for the end
Hoping with your ways you will make amends
Nothing but sorrow fills the skies
Rain stains the glass like so many tears I've cried

What became of my eyes, my face, my life?
Years upon years, watching those I knew burned in strife
Shaking hand upon the glass, I see and wipe away the tears
Reflected are so many desperate heartbroken years

None of the crimes I've seen can prepare me
For the one you have brought to be
You let go of my hand and left me for dead
Still I can't hate you, even on my deathbed

Forever I will wait inside my prison of glass
Either waiting for you or my time to pass
I don't recall if you gave me a choice
Or just looked at me and glanced at the invoice

Not bad, pretty descriptive. Here's another one of mine:

Espionage

I see you soldier-
Defender, protector.
Playing Hide 'n seek
With those who would
Destroy you.

What drives you so hard
What secret so great
Makes you a legend
Even though you don't exist?

Fiercely loyal, fiercely fighting
Fierce all within, you cannot contain it

Pretend to be calm,
Your actions speak far louder
Than the few gruff words
You allow yourself to say.

Your eyes, so guarded,
Ever-seeking, are you
Looking for answers,
For danger? Your
Enemy's swift hand?

Do or die, Semper Fi.

I see you now and wonder
If you long to end it
But then, where would you go?

Is there another way?
Are those hands able
To become comfortable
When not holding a weapon?

Yet, surely you must tire of
The frantic adrenaline
Or maybe not
It may only be normal.

The question I could ask
And yet
I don't know what to say.

You are a hunter of men
And what sort of man is that?
Good? Bad?
Both and neither.

Alas, complex answers
For a complex life.

And still I can't stop
Admiring your skills,
Your calm, quiet confidence
Can soothe and uplift anyone.

A seeker of secrets is a secret himself.


(Oh, and if you really want to know how much of a geek I am, ask me what inspired me to write this!)

what did, a teacher or something? lol

~Q-tip

Oh...I wish!

Do you really want to know?

Huh?

Do ya?

Really?




I don't wanna tell!





...Okay I will.


The inspiration for that lovely little ditty came from Metal Gear: Sons of Liberty. Snake Plisken rocks!


(I am Such a nerd....)

hahahahha, sweeeeeeeet.. Snake is tight. He's so bad-arse. *whoop look at me i can break your friends neck and you won't ever know* *CRACK*

~Q-tip

But the way he moved while hiding inside of a box had me in hysterics. And I dig the mullet, dude!



(I'm SUCH a geek....)

Oh, gee you guys are real poets. Great ones you all have written.

I've written some poems too, it's quite fun actually. (Well, I'm not sure if "fun" is the right word, but anyway...) My poems are all in Finnish, so I'd have to bother myself translating them to English. Maybe I'll do that some day so that you can tell me how much of a crap they are. Some of them are maybe a bit hard to translate, but I try my best.

Lol this maybe a bit of a late reply, i actually forgot about this thread for a bit cos no one replyed in the beginning but then i remembered it .

Btw my book isnt published, but people always tell me to publish it like my friends and i am really quite shocked, but i mean i dont really have any connections and dont worry, most of my poems do not have swearing but i do rarely when i talk about a really messed up subject or that im just seriously pissed off. But what i write sometimes depends on the mood i am in anyway my feelings influnence me well i see though.

And also, i am glad that there are others who sometimes write poems, its something i still do to this day, but i had a large stock which i was ready to post onto my mates website but err.... my hard drive got messed up so i had to reformat and then i lost it, but thank god for my mates website hehe, cos i still got some left well the old stuff mostly... but still good.

I really like all the poems btw, i think you guys have something too, but anything can inspire you, nothing wrong with getting something from MGS2 is there? lol well one of mine, a very early peice of work was about my aunty, lol well in a way, nothing stupid just about her being a painter and such...

I can't be bothered to be honest to talk about everyone's poem but i'll tell you the best line i heard was "Do or Die, Semper fi." now that is cool

And thanks

To the guy with the superwide av, change it please.

Some of my own poetry:

Good Morning

She blooms
Her vigor a death metal drum solo
Infectious
She colors color into colorless places
And rides her steed
An acid rain typhoon
And breaks the ranks
Tiger sharks
She laughs at their inadequacies
For she is a dolphin in a cowboy hat
Wearing a poncho today
For she cares not to get wet
Caution
For like the Pinto thou should not
Rear end her
Or face disaster
Inside she hides in far away Spain or Germany
Or whatever far away place she chooses
And she trickles down endlessly
Putting even pi to shame
And she's currently competing with Free Bird
To see who ends first
She is four in the morning and
No one else is awake
And she's making coffee and planning
Your day.

Hey, cool poems!!!

Im down with that artist, I've never wrote poetry in my life but 'ear goes.

Go to hell

So I was walking down the road and who should I meet?
But the old motherfucker dragging his feat
He looked like a homeless guy with no where to go
Long beard, ratty face and wearing tattered clothes

Long story short, he stopped me in my tracks
And asked to feel the fabric of my fiber
Well what could I say? "my currencies lax"
I tell you I aint no liar

With my hand in my pocket he licks his lips
Hoping to salvage some loot
As I pull away what should he get?
But a good ol' one finger salute

"What’s this?, stop fucking about!" he screams
Bursting into a raging spell
He hasn’t had a reply like this it seams
So I said, "GO TO HELL!"

By Linwood

So now me...

Scars on TV

Every cut is so beautiful unpretty.
These blood on my arms,
the only scream that you should hear.
Tears drip in my open wounds,
Mirror fragments can't reflect the darkness inside.
I cut up my thoughts, i want to see them bleeding.
These red tears, I hate them.
But they keep me warm.
And freeze my feelings.

Help me out.
Close my wounds.
Kiss my scars.
Make me feel beautifull.

I'm going crazy.
I'm wondering. Where am I?
Will red Tears go by?
Or are they just dry on my hurt soul.
I see this faces infront of flaring tv screens.
While my future is fading away.
Fog, please pull me down.
Don't let them see me, in this situation.
Or make me blind... forever.

Help Me...
Hear Me...

Your whole life in a fiction without signs.
Where a privilege is just to swap and change the time.
But you can not run, if you don't want.
Until the death will take you hand.

Help me out.
Close my wounds.
Kiss my scars.
Make me feel beautifull.

You're too late...
_____________________________
I'm german and not very good in English(i think). So it would be nice if someone correct my mistakes in this poem .THX

I love it the way it is. Wow.

Maybe my english is not perfect... But I'm trying!!!

Madness Song

Gulping pleasure as the air
When seduction seemed salvation
My confession, my objection
Wailing horror of my scare
Tears of innocent like poison
Burned my skin up to soul and flesh
I laughed and waited for next bash
Thousands years the same emotion
Kill me,save me,never think to follow me
rise your anger,set it free,all pretends,can't you see?

When i brought eternity with me
This world became deadly
I'm just servant,not the host
Damned by life. i'm heaven's ghost
Guilty of all, paying my price
Being in nightmare,but it's nice

Shout got stuck in my sick throat
Tainted happiness was glory
I survived in this devil story
And now i know all, because i saw
Taste of blood drove me insane
Can't go out that wild vision
Someone tell me all the reason
Will i stop infernal pain?
All the fame it's just shame. and our life remains the same
never let them try to tame. we're betrayed, what can i say?

I wana diiie!! please someone !!