Good news my anxiety has went away i took a trip to a bone Doctor for a pinched nerve and he fixed it. I bought some magnesium tablets. As for anxiety it went away in a week worth. I feel the best ive ever felt im glad to have my life back.

That's terrific, Adam! Keep it up!

Oh that's awesome! Congrats Adam! It is great to feel human again, isn't it? Of course I really don't know exactly what you went through because anxiety and depression are different for everyone, but I do know it's a great feeling when you've found the treatment that works best for you!

I am happy to say that I have also found the medications that are working for me, and as far as I can tell, this is the happiest/least anxious I've been in months. Again, I congratulate you Adam, and if you ever need to talk, I'm here.

@Em

Awesome my sweet friend! That puts a smile on my face!

@Adam Stryker

So happy for you too!

Well i can now function at the upcoming Christmas party tomorrow at my friends house. It was awesome Saturday i went to a concert for the first time and i didnt start freaking out, its strange what a vitamin deficiency can do to your nerves. Keep in mind im not on any type of anti depressants im getting off the benzodiazpines here soon, them i gotta wean off of.

Awesome! You found what works for you and now you can enjoy life! Have a great time at your party!


There are those who do have to take meds for chemical imbalance and there's nothing wrong with that; there is no one answer for what each person's body needs. The body is an interesting biological machine for sure!

Got a case of serious blahs. Some of you may already know from my various Facebook status messages, but I had one of the worst holiday seasons, ever. As the old saying goes, when it rains, it pours.

First, half my family catches a nasty stomach flu. Because I went to their house to help out, I caught it too, and was forced to miss the holiday meal and barely managed more than a hi to my family, some who I haven't seen in 2 years.

On top of that, I had to work, of course. As a guard, you tend to work when everyone else doesn't, and I had to work my shifts with a raging fever of 101 F. Fortunately, I had aspirin with me and that knocked it down somewhat, but no one would come in early or work my shift because it was Christmas Day.

If all that wasn't enough, my BF and I called it quits due to irreconcilable differences. A small misunderstanding led to the discovery of an enormous difference in principles, you could say. The problem is that I'm a Christian, and while he labeled himself an agnostic (which usually means you're sitting on the fence) after some probing he admitted he didn't believe God exists. I can't tell you how painful that discovery is. To know that the one I loved and wanted to share my life with can't accept the most important part of myself...it's unbearable. Of course, people try to work it out all the time, but it's the most excruciating thing to watch your love pull away from you because he can't accept that you will always put God first before him. They either end up believing with you, which is rare, or you stop believing so you can be with them, which is more common (and sucks!) or the relationship self-destructs. In any case, it's a lot of pain that I didn't want in my life. I guess I'm glad I found out now, but I'm really just devastated over all of it. The love was real. At least I can now say I've felt that. I can't say I regret much, just that it had to end and the way it ended.

At least we had one very bright spot: my sister in-law finally got a job after a 2 1/2 year search, and it's tailor-made for her. She and my brother couldn't even afford to buy gifts this Christmas, so this is an unbelievable blessing. The old saying, "When God closes a door, he opens a window" rings true here, only this time the window belongs to the house next door.

So I'm going through a period of various stages of grief: sad, anger, guilt, etc. Mostly though I feel like crap. I may be over the flu, but I'm still plenty sick at heart. I'll bounce back eventually, but I think I'm just going to sit in the corner and cry for a while.

Jax: *HUG*!

Many HUGS TA!

Close up, people! Try to start the new year on fresh. Life sucks, we all know that and have encountered that fact more times than we'd wish to admit. No matter how dark the tunnel is, there's always a light at the end. But sometimes the tunnel is just too deep to see it. And when you do, enjoy it the best and most you can. The sun won't be always bright. But don't forget it's not always dark either. If you close your eyes you won't see when the light comes again. Good speed to all of you, folks!

TA
Is really God such an obstacle? To me He is like aliens - I am a believer, I just don't believe they are exactly like on theXfiles. I can't understand why people could draw the line because something so irrelevant. Belief is a matter of free choice, disbelief too. Even if your bf don't believe, is this a problem for him, or for you? We are not perfect, we are built from flaws and our positives are just the glue that connects them. So if he understands your religion (even not accepting it for himself), you should try to work things out. I'm sorry for interfering your life, I know nothing about it and I'm the last man to give you advices. Just think about it, if you haven't. Bye, take care and have a nice 2011 and 2012!

Arvigeus, I appreciate your questions, because they are valid. God is only an obstacle when you choose Him to be. You're right in that belief is a choice, as is disbelief. We have His word to go by, and when we don't care for His rules, that's when He becomes an obstacle. But we all know that breaking the law isn't exactly the best way to go about life.
The reason why it's so difficult and trust me, I tried all kinds of ways to stick with him, is pretty simple: a house divided cannot stand. He was already resentful of my decision to choose God first, and that's always going to create a rift. Also, faith is something to share with others, not to lord over them. It can't work that way.

I can't say I compare God or Scripture to the X-Files, (thanks for the laugh ) but I will say that one reason I believe the Bible is the truth is because it's so very unique, to the point that mankind alone couldn't have invented it. It's the only faith where it is acknowledged that there is absolutely noting you can do to save yourself, to earn heaven. It's all been done for you, for free, by a God who loves us so much he sacrificed Himself in our place. I cannot and would not force my faith on anyone. You have to be open and let it touch you. It's not something you can control or put in a bottle. Some people have a hard time accepting that. Some just plain won't, and that's how my BF took it.

@Arvigeus

Well I don't think we were all being all sad and stuff about the new year. Of course it's a chance to start fresh and hopefully we are all up for the challenge......I know I am.

Life sucks? Wow, um I don't think that's true, at least in my case it isn't true or I would be real sad all the time and that's not quality of life. I think my life is pretty darn good really.........I have a great family and I have some really awesome pets to love. I have everything I need and a few wants I hope to get this year (hint: go to Finland to see POTF and PE!).

As far as someone not being able to see a relationship with someone who does not have the same beliefs about religion, well that is her/his personal decision; who are we to say how someone should set up her/his life priorities? And if arguments break out over the subject, that could be hard on both parties.

Just my take on things .

Depression is an evil beast, I know, I had it once (long time ago) and I don't remember what the doctor prescribed, but I remember that once in the pharmacy I turned back and threw the prescription in the bin...I tried to take the strengths from what I had inside, it might have took longer time, but I felt better after all.
There is not a more precious gift than life, one just have to understand that are just the small little things that make every day special.

Today I have been woken up by some birds, well that was a nice good morning, looking at the colors of the sky, the smell of the air in the fields (even now with all this snow) life is just great if you can see beyond the false happiness proposed by television and false models proposed by nowadays society. The real porblem that lies on the depression is that nowadays people have really too much and there is no more space for desires, or dreams...whatever your heart can desire can be bought it is a matter of price...well the real things that our soul needs are, as a matter of fact, for free but since we see them everyday we give them for granted and we empty them of the great meanings they carry inside

This is a part of an article written by a doctor based on research.........not saying everyone has to think it's "right", but since so many think "depression" is only a state of mind, maybe listen to this side? Don't have too though of course:

Researchers have noted differences in the brains of people who are depressed as compared to people who are not. For instance, the hippocampus, a small part of the brain that is vital to the storage of memories, appears to be smaller in people with a history of depression than in those who've never been depressed. A smaller hippocampus has fewer serotonin receptors. Serotonin is a calming brain chemical known as a neurotransmitter that allows communication between nerves in the brain and the body. It's also thought that the neurotransmitter norepinephrine may be involved in depression.

Scientists do not know why the hippocampus is smaller in those with depression. Some researchers have found that the stress hormone cortisol is produced in excess in depressed people. These investigators believe that cortisol has a toxic or poisonous effect on the hippocampus. Some experts theorize that depressed people are simply born with a smaller hippocampus and are therefore inclined to suffer from depression.

One thing is certain -- depression is a complex illness with many contributing factors. The latest scans and studies of brain chemistry that show the effects of antidepressants help broaden our understanding of the biochemical processes involved in depression. As scientists gain a better understanding of the cause(s) of depression, health professionals will be able to make better "tailored" diagnoses and, in turn, prescribe more effective treatment plans.

Now there is extreme sadness:


Although depression is often thought of a being an extreme state of sadness, there is a vast difference between clinical depression and sadness. Sadness is a part of being human -- a natural reaction to painful circumstances. All of us will experience sadness at some point in our lives. Depression, however, is a physical illness with many more symptoms than an unhappy mood.

The person with clinical depression finds that there is not always a logical reason for his dark feelings. Exhortations from well-meaning friends and family for him to "snap out of it" provide only frustration, for he can no more "snap out of it" than a diabetic can will his pancreas to produce more insulin.

Sadness is a transient feeling that passes as a person comes to term with his troubles. Depression can linger for weeks, months or even years. The sad person feels bad, but continues to cope with living. A person with clinical depression may feel overwhelmed and hopeless.

To clarify the differences between normal sadness and depression, there are specific, defined criteria for the diagnosis of major depression:

A person who suffers from a major depressive disorder must either have a depressed mood or a loss of interest or pleasure in daily activities consistently for at least a two-week period. This mood must represent a change from the person's normal mood and impair his functioning in his daily life.

A depressed mood caused by substances such as drugs, alcohol, or medications is not considered a major depressive disorder, nor is one that is caused by a general medical condition.


So there's a difference. Just saying "Hey get over yourself" or "focus on the really great stuff instead of what's bad" or whatever is not going to help someone with a physical problem.


Many societies are so quick to judge mental illnesses and dismiss them as merely psychosomatic and if those who are suffering would just kick themselves up out of that pity mode then everything will be ok is not true. There are people who suffer from mental disorders, maybe even some you know or work with but no one wants to say "Hey I have ti and I'm getting help for it (whether it be therapy or drugs or both)" because let's face it; people will come back at you and say "If only you did this it would be ok.......don't take those drugs! Drugs are bad!"

I'm not telling anyone to go out and get drugs for depression or even that someone has depression, just try to understand everything behind what real depression and anxiety and how they differ from sadness.

That's awesome, Adam! I'm so excited for you! The magnesium tablets are an excellent idea. Anxiety is a symptom of a magnesium deficiency. When you take magnesium supplements, it's amazing how good you can feel! Magnesium can be a great short term medical solution.

Safe to say I wish to never go through this again. Life is actually really good now.

Do you guys remember the character of Barclay from Star Trek: The Next Generation?

I find myself relating to him A LOT, especially in the episode Realm of Fear where he's having trouble pushing himself to use the transporter and be energized. His thought process of the whole thing just greatly diminishing the chances of him going through with it.

I have a general thing like that but with everything it seems, i just get crazy nervous.