Thank you The Foreboding, that's very kind of you!

Me and my love broke up, he left me in the end of February, and in the end of April we got back. But 4 days ago he told he wants to break up, Iwas mentally ready for it so I agreed, even though it was sad, but i was doing much for him and he was doubting us. I logged on to one site and saw the message he sent at the day when we broke up recently and I saw it only yesterday. I replied. And he replied being so rude... He offended me much. He thinks that my feelings for the 3 years we were together weren't true because I told I knew we wouldn't be happy (he is from the other country, and this country dislikes mine and Russians much), because he wanted me to move to him, and he dudn't want to here. I was ready for it, knowing that his relatives wouldn't like me and that the country doesn't. My love was pure and sincere, didn't he see it? For the 3 years. He used bad words towards me, it offended me a lot, because I still care about him and know that he is sad even if it was him to end it all. I felt OK yesterday but now I am just lost. All his words shown that he blames me for that he feels bad now. But he left me. He offered to break up. And he was rude. How can he blame me?

Moon Poetess, I'm really sorry. I think it's better for you to just ignore him and try to forget about him. Reading/listening to his insults will only keep you unhappy and you don't deserve it. I don't know what caused him to be so bitter and angry about your break-up especially when it was he who broke up with you.
Even though you loved him, and possibly still do, you should try to put him behind you and focus on things that could bring you happiness instead, whatever those things (friends, reading, music, sports, summer, shopping etc.) may be.
*hugs* I hope you'll be alright. Take care of yourself.

Thanks! Yes, I love him but I knew it would happen. I feel a bit better. It will be OK soon. I will distract myself and will ignore him. *hugs back*

@Moon Poetess, I'm so sorry. Take the time you need and like DSoL said, don't care about what he says. I hope you'll get back on your feet soon! *hugs*

Thanks, I will. Although I guess the dreams of us will haunt me for a bit, like today I saw us and like I did something wrong and could redefine it. >.< But it's all over. I am accepting it.

The sudden and untimely loss of a friend is a terrible experience. The last time it happened, it had been a cancer, so the end, though heartbreaking, was expectable.
Not this time.
We weren't very close, so perhaps I shouldn't feel so devastated, but she was bright, brilliant, beautiful and incredibly gentle. Someone like her, of all people, should never have to die so young.

I'm very sorry you lost a dear friend. Try to remember her with happiness, it's possibly the best tribute you can give. *hugs* And go on with your own life as well.

I'm sorry for your loss, Winterborn Dreamer. *hugs*

Thank you.
Oddly enough, after drawing a portrait of her as an angel, I feel much better.

OMG that's such a wonderful idea. Cannot express how beautiful this is.

Well, I don't know either this is good or bad, but I guess it was needed, eventually. Holding on to something that's just not there can lead to pretty unpleasing stuff. So, yeah, I guess I have the right to feel bad for a couple of days for loving someone that led me to the conclusion they feel the same, but yeah, I guess that at my young age, it means nothing, and that I have way worse stuff to meet in life.
But for now, some things just feel numb and.. Not right. Rejection is an odd feeling.
I don't know what else to say. I guess I'm just afraid of change, and that absolutely everyone goes through this at one point, but it hurts a little more than I expected it to, and I'm not quite sure how to handle it.
I guess I'm just afraid no one will ever care for me again, since there's not much to love in here. But maybe, eventually, I will find something, or someone. And sorry for the rant, i just needed to get some things off my chest... And, yeah.

@forsakingthedawn, these things can be difficult to handle. They usually are when there are strong feelings involved. It'll take some time to heal, but it will heal. There's one thing you should never doubt though: there's a lot to love in you, even though sometimes it feels hard to believe, and no matter what you are worthy of love. Please always remember this, always.

You are so incredibly nice, thank you. When I get such nice words from people... That's where I get my inspiration to keep my head up.

More of a minor annoyance, but my sleeping pattern...or lack thereof, to be honest, has been very strange lately. Even though I'm tired and dead on my feet, I can't sleep. I couldn't sleep for two days, then I finally did yesterday, but last night I couldn't sleep again. Can't figure out why.

I think I can't manage to see PotF here in Germany That's enough to be sad about.

Awww, that's sad. *hugs* Why?

Well, Berlin would be great because the distance isn't that big (more or less 3 hours by car) but it's on a Sunday and on Monday I have to work/go to school. Depends on how my schedule is because I'll start my apprenticeship in September. Maybe I'll be lucky and I have to work on Monday so I can take a vacation day. (I'm not a person who skips school)
And the other venues are simply too far away.

I'm not complaining. I'm happy that the guys have the chance to come here and that you all can see them.

I wish you good luck with your schedule then. Fingers crossed.

What about Hamburg? Even if it's a long travel distance, it's a Saturday.

Having to work the next day has never kept me from any gig. I just get up early to be back at work on time. *shrugs* Yeah, I know, not everyone is willing or able to do that.

Thanks.
Yes, I was thinking about Hamburg as well but I actually don't know if have to work on Saturdays. I just wait until September and then I know when work starts etc. I just hope that tickets will be still available then.


Yep, but the thing is that I really don't have any clue how my apprenticeship will be like, at what time it starts and all that stuff. Otherwise I would be willing to do that, in case trains are on time.

D'oh! I'm sorry, I forgot that some people have to work on weekends too.
Good luck! I hope things will work out for you.

You lucky girl, you! ^^
Thank you and for your suggestions.

I'm an old dirty broken sock now. Or at least I'm treated like one. By my "best friend".
She chose computers and some random guys who she talks with on the Internet rather than me, which doesn't make me feel very happy.. She also used to complain about lack of friends but for some reason I haven't been valid company when going somewhere etc. unlike many other girls. And now that we have argued, she acts very insultingly and does nothing to fix the situation. She just keeps quiet and waits if I'm gonna do something. Until now I did, but not anymore. I'm done. If she appreciates my friendship, she wants to keep it and show that she cares.

There are a lot more things I could tell about but I think it wouldn't be wise... Maybe telling about this is wise neither but I just had to write somewhere. This happened a few days ago so I'm still shocked. We'll see how this ends.

Sorry to hear you have been treated badly. If you have tried and things didn't work out I'd say cut your losses and (let) go. You are right that it should be her turn, especially if you have told her how you feel (which I assume you have since you say you argued). I know it hurts now, but you will heal and there are other friends for you out there. *Hugs*

The Foreboding, I'm really sorry for you. From somewhat recent experience though, if someone doesn't want your company, doesn't keep touch, doesn't try to fix anything when you bring it up... just let it go. Don't try anymore, your "friend" isn't worth you. I feel like I tried for too long when this happened to me, maybe I wanted to salvage over 10 years of friendship but it's simply impossible to do alone when the other person doesn't care anymore.

*hugs* I'm kind of glad you've made a decision about it now, to not let it continue the way it has, to break it off once and for all. After a time, it'll get easier. In the mean while, it helps to talk about it, and hopefully you have plenty of friends who will tell you and show you that you're worth a good, lasting friendship even though it didn't work out with that one friend anymore.

All the best to you, even though you're going through tough times now. Try to do things you enjoy, though, even though it might be hard to get your friend and the situation out of your thoughts.

Thank you very much, redbossfan and DSoL. Right now it's invaluable to get understanding and know that there are people who stand beside me in this situation. The greatest thing is I found that my sister's a wonderful listener.
Anyway, I feel kind of relieved - seems like at some point I did let go. Of course it's not alright yet but I'm not dependent on her anymore and it doesn't matter if she's coming back or not. Or actually I think I don't want her back at all because everything would be like before.
What is more, she tried to avenge publicly and put the blame on me (and still hasn't tried to contact me). That's something I never believed she could do.
All I hope is that some day she'll realize this situation from my point of view.

I feel very sorry for you too, The Foreboding. You deserve nothing but true friendship. I hope you'll have better times soon.

Since I posted pics of my poor buttery billboard, I have to announce the sad news:

Ol' Butterbean has been in an accident and had his windshield obliterated, roof dented. I was driving behind a truck carrying medical equipment when a cardboard box flew up in the air and landed dead-on.

The way the box danced in the air I thought it was empty, but turns out it held a 120-lb hospital light meant for surgery! I and the truck driver are okay. A miracle-box struck passenger side, hit no one else, no glass touched my face.

Sorry to hear about your accident, but really happy you were not hurt. *hugs*

No one has been hurt, and really, this is what matters.
Sorry about the damage caused to Butterbean, though.